And when I thought things couldn't get any worse...

they fucking did. I think God wants me to be stronger, and I really appreciate it but He doesn't know I can't be stronger, I'm too weak. With all my tears from yesterday and today i could totally make my own river, the Macarena River. I'm trying to be funny but I know I'm not. If I wanted no one to find out that I was having a terrible day I failed 100 %. I cried at school, I cried in the streets (pathetic), I cried in P.E and I even dared to swear someone, my actual words were 'déjenme de golpear, la concha de sus madres', well, I didn't say it, I screamed it; the first time in my life and I must say I feel quite proud of myself, I said this because we were playing handball and the girls in the other team love playing rough and hitting people on purpose and that wasn't going to work with me at that moment, and when I screamed that I was lying on the floor after having been pushed; and I didn't fall only that time, I fell twice, because after that another girl thought it might be funny to push me again and make me fall and hurt my knees, that second time really hurt, fucking whore; and I really wanted to break her large and horrible nose but the teacher was there and I couldn't, but I would have, I think I should've done it, I regret not doing it. Moving on, I cried in English (can you believe that?) I spent the worst 5 minutes of my life, so humiliating. I cried in the dinner table in front of my parents (another can you believe that?) and then I cried in my room a bit more. I think I was having the PMS, no, I don't think, I was. And today was another shitty and sad day. Like I said before, I must calm down and I have to do it pretty quickly.